Stop watching TV and doing the things you do when you’re bored.
Stop doing the work you’re forced to do because of deadlines and someone else is counting on you
Stop doing everything and sit and let it go.
What would you do, in this moment, to nourish your brain, your body or your soul? Focus on that.
I love social dynamics. It’s why I loved being a stripper. People are coded, honestly. We are. Neill Strauss says he saw the Matrix in The Game, and this is how I felt as a stripper. There were codes and rules to follow which would help you build rapport with someone and get them to act in a way that you wanted.
Though this sounds bad… well, it was, at first. But after a while, once I realised I had a bit too much power over peoples decisions, I adopted a code of ethics.
I’d never lie, I’d never rip someone off if they had no money, I’d always try and act in their best interests.
A lot of men wanted to sit with me because it was therapeutic. I didn’t like overcharging, I didn’t like ripping anyone off, I liked having a good time. Which wasn’t sexual, it was often hardly even vanilla. It was a lot of the time a counselling session because these men felt very deprived of human affection, and they wanted it from a woman.
This is how I went from overly made up, wig wearing, false tan adoring, fake eyelash flapping, broke stripper to a plain jane ‘wizard’ who could ‘get money from the poorest man in London’ – two different testimonials from two different strippers – both of whom I’d consider as a lot more attractive than me.
I too used scripts occasionally to build rapport, I liked to asses body language, I liked to use a combination of pushing and pulling to make someone feel a combination of loved but not overpowered or pressured, and I enjoyed it so much. It was mathematical. There were problems and solutions to it.
I considered going back to this job recently. Not for the money, though with those skills as a stripper PUA I did make good money, but because I enjoyed it.
I then realised why I enjoyed it more than my digital business. It’s because I wasn’t using my passion for problem-solving, for understanding human dynamics and applying it to this realm.
I was seeing this business as a means to an end, a way to get a passive income, which it is and certainly can be, but it didn’t inspire me.
After that, I was hooked. I had to get to work. And I’m noticing a huge change in my approach to my work. I’m now inspired and I’m also attracting clients that I didn’t even try to get, that are completely aligned with my values, that are really interesting, and that I’m excited about working with.
So what is it that you love doing? Are you maternal? Do you like making people feel good by being caring? You can apply it to your business, people need to be cared for.
Are you strategic, you like knowing all the figures and what you need to achieve to make a certain amount of money or help a certain amount of people? Because that can be applied to your business, my very good friend developed complicated spreadsheets – I suspect for fun but he’ll say it was for his business only – because he’s a great strategist.
What do you love doing, that you’re good at, that you’d be doing anyway even if you weren’t operating in a business. Then apply it.
Caroline Antonia.